That Pesky First Amendment

Dear Msgr. Mr. Santorum,

Perhaps I have been watching too much CNN lately.  Maybe the liberal, elite media has gotten to me.  I've heard you discuss everything from your blue-collar roots to contraception to higher education snobbery.  I understand and reluctantly accept that you are shouting to your conservative base- those passionate few that care enough to come out to vote in the primaries.  While it concerns me that the more moderate i.e. majority of the GOP choose to stay home leaving the choice of their ultimate candidate to the right wing extremists, I accept it as reality.

What I cannot accept is the vitriolic rhetoric claiming that this government, my government has been corrupted by Satan and needs to ascribe to biblical law.  While I have no argument that this government has been corrupted by something - greed, arrogance, entitlement, etc. - I cannot say if Satan had a hand in it or if it is just the natural failings of humanity.  I tend to believe the latter.  Which leads me to my point...

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.  -1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America

That pesky first amendment, whether by a liberal interpretation or a conservative one, states quite clearly that no laws will be made respecting (or disrespecting, for that matter) any specific religion.  It also says that you have the right to believe whatever you want, but that I, too, may believe whatever I want.  Even if what I believe isn't in your bible.  What I may not do is attempt to alter any laws so that they may follow any specific dogma pertaining to my religion - and neither can you.

So when you come in and start saying that the very idea of the separation of church and state makes you "want to throw up" and that we all must start obeying God's law to save this country from destruction, I get a little very angry.  To which God are you referring, Rick?  Are you referring to the God of the Jews?  What about the God of the Muslim faith?  How about the Buddhists, Hindi, Mormons, Protestants, Scientologists, Jehova's Witnesses, Pagans and so many more beautiful faiths? What about those who choose not to ascribe to any particular faith at all? Do they not have rights in your proposed American ideal?  That pesky first amendment says they do.

I find it more than a little ironic that you reference the speech given by John F. Kennedy in 1960 attempting to assuage voters that they should vote for him despite his Catholic faith.  That even as a man of faith, the church would have no power over his decisions as president.  Flash forward fifty-two years and here you are making stump speeches claiming that the very reason you should be elected is that you are Catholic.  The speech that makes you vomit contributed to the fact that you have a political career in the first place.

You say that the current administration has attacked 'the church' time and again.  Again I say, which church?  Obama hasn't attacked my church, or yours for that matter.  He's not allowed to under that pesky first amendment.

You have the right to believe that I am going to hell because I use contraception, believe in a woman's right to choose and think that global climate change is a real threat.  You have the right to tell anyone who will listen how your way is the right way, the only way, the true way.  You have the right to gather in a group and let lawmakers know that you think they are attacking your church.  That pesky first amendment says you do.

What you don't have the right to do is step into the highest office in our land and change laws so they fit with your personal doctrine and that of your church.  What you don't have the right to do is take away laws that protect women because your bible says that right is wrong.  What you don't have the right to do is take this nation backwards. That pesky first amendment says you don't.

I am kind of in love with that pesky first amendment.

Tips from one of the most beautiful women to ever grace this world

Don't just live your life. Live it well.

I have spent the afternoon editing photographs I took last week for a friend while back home in Omaha.  He is an entertainer of the crooner variety and the shots we got will suit him well.  I think he will like them.  But that is not the point of this.

As I was editing, I sent him a message regarding the choice between black and white versus color for some of the shots.  Fairly mundane message.  During this conversation, I found out something about my friend that I had not previously known.  He told me he was so excited about having professional press shots done since he had lost a significant about of weight four years ago.  That is not the point of this, either.

My friend lost 130 pounds.  That is a significant accomplishment.  As I was so shocked by this statement, he sent me a picture of himself, taken before the weight loss.  The difference is striking.  I would not have recognized him as the man he is today.  Still, his appearance is not the point.

It is the message he sent along with the picture that is the point.  It was not a message of self-deprecation as one might expect.  It was not a message of vanity or of conceit, which would be well-earned.  It was simply this -

"This is me at about 250 or so, right before I decided I wanted to enjoy the rest of my life."

Those words struck me significantly.  Not because I need to lose that much weight, no, nothing as literal as that.  His words had an impact because it was a reminder I needed desperately at that moment.  It was a reminder that life is worth living well.  Whether it is by losing weight, by changing careers, or simply by smiling more often, I think we all need to be reminded at times, maybe several times a day, that not only is life worth living, it is worth living well.

Michael before...

Michael now.

Post Script...

I wrote this post while waiting for permission from Michael to use these images.  He graciously consented, with an addition to the point of the story he felt needed to be told - 

"You sure can, but what I said is not quite the whole story. The bigger picture, the more inspirational story to me is that I completely reinvented myself...for several reasons. 

I still marvel from time to time that I became WHAT I THOUGHT, down to the last detail. Someone once said to me- 'You are what you eat, and you become what you think.' I lost 130 pounds and my lovely wife lost 85. We are having a blast."

Michael Lyon is an entertainer and real estate agent in Omaha, Nebraska. His voice, his talent and his spirit is simply amazing. If you would like to book him for your next event, or to sell your house, please reply to this post and I will put you in contact with him!

Merry Christmas!

Attack Dogs and an Arsenal of Good

Last night I asked my five year old daughter a question.  I asked her what she would do if one of her friends was mean to her repeatedly.

"I would ask them to please stop."

That was a great answer.  Logical.  Wise.  I pressed on...

"What if that doesn't work?"

"I would tell you, or my teacher."  Smartie, this one.  Looks like she actually pays attention to the anti-bullying message.  Good.  I pressed further...

"And what if THAT doesn't work?"  At this point she's looking at me like I'M the bully.

"Attack dogs."  God, I love five year logic.

This line of questioning occurred not because I thought she was being bullied.  It was because I was being bullied.  I have found that the pure logic of children can often be very honest and enlightening.  I had no idea how right she really was.

I have been my own biggest bully throughout my entire life.  Well, maybe not my entire life, but at least from adolescence on.  Having fully absorbed the message that I was lazy, worthless and stupid throughout childhood, my adolescent self tightly held onto that mantra.  It became a self-actualizing prophesy, and I was allowing it.

Every failed relationship, job, hobby, friendship, pursuit was my fault.  I was lazy.  I didn't deserve it.  I suck.

I need attack dogs.

Well-trained, highly optimistic, biggest champion of me dogs.  Just as any dog is completely loyal to its person, I need attack dogs that live in my mind, tearing apart every self-defeating thought that dares entry.

When I tell myself I am not allowed to have a dream - attack!  I can do whatever I set my mind to.

When I fear that I am destroying my child because of my own insecurities - attack!  I am a good mom and my child never, ever doubts my love for her, even when she doesn't understand me.

When I lose hope - attack!  I have the ability to create my own happiness, no matter what life throws at me.

When I think I'm not good enough - attack!  I am good enough.  In fact, I am great and getting better with every try.  Failure is just another opportunity to try again with more information.

These things seem simple enough.  In practice though...attack!  When all else fails, leave it to a five year old to give me the best advice I could have ever received.

Climb higher...

Hold on tight...

Throw your hands up and just let go!

Enlightenment and Fire

Happy Bodhi Day!

Today is my very first Bodhi Day.   It is the day that Buddhists celebrate the day that the historical Buddha, Siddhartha Guatauma (Shakyamuni) experienced enlightenment.*

It is a day to meditate and celebrate.  Study the Dharma, chant the Sutras and perform kind acts towards other beings.

In keeping with that, and really having no real idea what I'm doing, I thought I'd tell the story of how I became a Buddhist.  According to my husband, I always have been.  He said he knew it when we first met.  Everyone who knows me said they knew it too.  I was really the only one who seemed surprised.

I have been collecting Buddha statues for years, ever since an ex-boyfriend's father gave me one for Christmas 12 years ago.  I still have no idea why he gave it to me.  They are Catholic.  I was a Christian/Pagan/Wiccan/Confused.  I guess maybe he saw something too.

I don't kill bugs.  Never have.  Let me rephrase that...I never go out of my way to kill bugs.  I have been known to smack the occasional mosquito when it's biting me and my car has enough of the little six-legged carcasses to prove that I don't avoid them while driving - probably a good thing.  But I will happily escort out any spider, insect or other so-called pestilence if they lose their way and end up in my home and have been known to use my entire body as a shield against an unwarranted spider murder on many occasions.

I've spent years railing against the Christian right.  Those who claim to that God is love, but he only loves them.  If you're gay or Mormon or Jewish or Muslim or just a decent person bring to get through life by being nice and not causing any harm, but aren't quite sure about the whole Jesus/ Bible/ Adam and Eve thing, you're pretty much going to end up in the fires of Hell.  Have fun.

I did the whole born again thing, back in high school and college.  Of course my intentions were pure - I did it because that's what my boyfriend at the time was doing.  I stood on street corners asking complete strangers if they had asked Jesus to be their personal Savior. I spoke in tongues.  I was baptized, again...because the one when I was a baby apparently didn't take.  I was also made to feel like the whore of Babylon by one of the pastors at my church because I wore a dress to church that fit my body and forced men to commit the sin of fornication in their minds.  Oops.  My bad.  When the boyfriend and I were thinking of getting engaged, we had to attend pre-engagement counseling sessions to determine whether the church thought we were a good match.  Those I am actually grateful for, because as it turns out, we weren't.  But their reasons were that I would never be submissive enough to be a good Christian wife.  Well, at least they got something right.

After that, I flew in the opposite direction.  I studied Wicca and Paganism - also because of a boyfriend. I got tattoos and traveled and had lots and lots of sex.  It was fun, for a while.  But never really felt like me.  More than Christianity, but never perfect.  Flash forward several years and I found myself back in a church - Lutheran, standing next to a real live Christian, saying my vows before God and family.  My husband knew I had my doubts about the Bible, but he was strong enough in his own faith to not really care that I had my questions.  It also helped that we were pretty much Christmas and Easter Christians, so I didn't have to worry about it all that much.  All of the hullabaloo started two Christmases ago, when I refused to go to church on Christmas Eve.  I had decided that it was complete hypocrisy to attend church once a year and consider that good.  I informed my husband that if he wanted to go to Christmas Eve service, we would have to go to church at least twice a month all year long.  That worked out well for me.  Haven't been back in a church since then, except for last Easter at the behest of some new friends.  All of the  guitar and drum worship and hand waving brought out a severe case of PTSD for me and I left in tears.

I got home and cried.  I felt lost.  I knew I needed to pick a direction, to have something to believe in that was bigger than myself.  Then I looked around my room to see all of these fat, happy Buddhas staring at me.  It was if they seemed to say "This is where you belong."  A path of non-extremism, the middle way.  A non-violent, be kind to others, God is the energy that drives everything in the universe kind of way.  An anyone can achieve enlightenment no matter who you are kind of way.  Something clicked.

When I told my husband I thought I might be Buddhist, he said "Duh.  It's about time you figured that out."  I started reading about Buddha and meditation, being at peace wherever you are.  I devoured this hope like a starving child.  For the first time in my life, I had hope.  I realized what I think I knew all the time, that God is in me.  That God is in everything.

I am no where near enlightenment, though.  That may take several more lifetimes, but I am at peace with that.  I feel no need to defend my beliefs, or push them onto others.  I can just smile and be happy with the path that works for me.  Because really, when it comes down to it, aren't all faiths inherently the same?  Love God.  Be thankful.  Be nice.  It's really all the same path - just different signage.

*wikipedia - Bodhi Day